At the beginning of this year I began thinking I would like to back away from performing in folk music. It seemed like I was just too burnt out to enjoy it Then, I wanted to also back off from performing with the Richey Community Orchestra. So, it wasn’t just folk music.
After dodging this question on purpose all February, I began to think about it again this month. It finally dawned on me that I wanted to move towards something new. Not just stop doing the same old same old I’ve been doing for three decades.
I was thinking, what if I had no commitments to go out and play anywhere? What would that be like?
Just for comparison, consider my typical Wednesday. It’s the one day of the week that has no commitments. All the others either have things on the calendar or accumulate them as I go along. Is it a coincidence that Wednesday is my favorite day of the week? Just a clue!
Do you have a day or two off every week? Sometimes? Never!?! That day off is called freedom. For most of our lives we don’t have very much of it
If you freely enter into a commitment, then that was your choice. Following through, living up to it, that’s good for you. Good for your self respect. Good for your reputation as someone who Does What You Say You Will Do.
And yet…what if you had no commitments to go out and work for anybody? Would you like that?
Now I’m not casting teaching into the same framework. That’s different. It’s a different kind of pressure. Not as intense. It doesn’t nag at me.
So this is coming down to a vision of freedom opening up in May, just after the last RCO concert on Mother’s Day. After that I expect to be free of all performance obligations.
Sometimes you have to proactively close some doors before you can walk through a new one.